the climb is getting easier

I think the thyroid meds are working. I took a walk three days in a row. I have the normal pain from exercise...not the terrible all over pain that I once had. I'm waking earlier in the morning. Not waking exhausted. How can a simple little pill help so much? I'm not going to get too excited. I need to see this working for a time. For now, its progress.
I'm keeping this blog to write everything down. I'm now concerned with my cough and breathing difficulties. When I'm talking, I become out of breath easily. While walking, I try to breathe deeply. After my walks, I cough a bit. This may be some kind of healing mechanism the body produces.
I'm not complaining. I just want to keep this written record. It could help someone else.

Amazing....its working

I'm feeling better and better. I've found a new love. It my thyroid medicine. It is called C (for compounded) Thyroid USP caps. Even though I've looked back on my blood work and it is in the normal range. it doesn't matter. Maybe in five years the medical professionals will decide the tests were flawed and the normal ranges will change. There are some progressive doctors that do go by a different range and your symptoms. A friend of mine was in town for holidays and wanted to meet me for a walk.early in the morning yesterday. I did it. I warned her I may have problems.I didn't. The only problem I still have is my shallow breathing. She told me how to breath deep. Its good for your health. After the walk...about an hour, I coughed up lots of fleam. I'm sure the walk was good. I got lots done yesterday. We had a kava party at our house last night. My kids saw lots of the old friends in town for the holidays. It was nice to feel human and almost normal.
We had Thanksgiving with my husbands brother and sister. It was a very good day. Lots of good food.Good conversation. Cowboys won the football game. Although that isn't as important as it once was. Relationships are what matters. It takes so much to fix them when they have broken. My husbands brother and sister was one of those that broke years ago. It was a big step to be invited and to accept this invitation to dinner. It was a wonderful day. .

Much to be thankful for.

Almost Thanksgiving

I'll note that the thyroid med is helping. This is a tricky subject. My test results are normal for thyroid. But the spot in my neck is a big larger. I have the symptoms for hypothyroidism. Which mimic fibromyalgia and depression. I began taking some of my old thyroid med. The Armour thyroid. This company is on back order for this medicine. Its not FDA approved. It has been used for over a hundred years, so they gave it Grandfather drug status. It contains T3and T4. The synthetic thyroid the doctors normally give has only ^T4. There is controversy over this. I prefer the natural thyroid. Since the Armour Thyroid is on back order, my pharmacy is making compounded pills. They are getting the thyroid and putting it in capsules. If anyone reading this is curious go to Stop the thyroid madness web site.

I am feeling so much better. Each day I have more and more energy. I'm feeling human again. I can't understand why the medical community doesn't understand this. Maybe if I went to a specialist I would have been prescribed this. My doctor wanted me to take the synthetic thyroid. I had to talk him into letting me try this. It takes a prescription so I needed his approved. I'm not going to get too excited...just in case I rebound. But I have a feeling this will continue to work for me. I've woken up earlier the last two mornings feeling well. Its so strange because I've been so accustomed to being exhausted when I woke.
I've gotten lots done. I've put up my Christmas trees. One in the living room and the one downstairs with family ornaments...kid ones. I've done lots of errands the last couple of days. I tutored my student yesterday. We didn't have a lot of homework. He is interested in family history so we did some searching on the internet. His grandparents were visiting so they were helpful for this project. Its great this boy has love for his family history at such a young age. The best place to look is ancestry.com but I think you need to pay. They may be somethings you can search for free.

Slidding into a black hole

I had a terrible week. I' weak. All week, weak. All week long my legs and body hurt. I was emotional. Very tender hearted. My friend that is a massage therapist told me she knew I had fibromyalgia.She could tell within a few seconds. Not so fast. I looked up fibromyalgia and other things that mimic this. I found out hypothyroid is one. I haven't had my thyroid meds since August. I was on a low dose. I was taking Armour thyroid. The company stopped sending the meds to pharmacy's. I didn't want to take another kind. The compounded one was too expensive. That means back in August I stopped taking it cold turkey. So now I need to level out my thyroid. I called the compounding pharmacy. Armour is still on back orders. They have a better price for a 100 day supply. So I'll get that one.
I looked back on my blog from August. I was playing tennis and doing yard work. Much more then I can handle now. So glad I'm keeping a blog. I can look back on it. I'm sure they thyroid meds will help me. To a point. After I get to a better place, I need to see my doctor in Texas.
Today, I decided I need to thank God for everything. So I even thanked him for my illness. Afterwards I feel a weight off my shoulders. Its like I've given up this problem to him. I've come out of denial to say "I know I have a problem I can't fix by myself", "Help me now" This afternoon I discovered the thyroid issue. One step at a time. Fibromyalgia may still be an issuse. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
I am sorry to my blog readers not to have interesting things to say. it seems no progress. But there will be progress and good days ahead. Just check back. I hope one day to say....oh I met the greatest guy.....blah blah blah.

baby steps

Two walks today. Once morning and once night. Plus some jumping jacks on tramp. I like this

Flu

My son was sick again today. I think he has what I had. It could be the swine flu. It did last for about a month in my case. The worse part of this flu is that it wipes you out. No energy. Its like tx again. Only half as bad.
Tomorrow I'm going to begin exercise. Its too bad the weather is too cold for swimming. Its my favorite exersise and tones completely. I will start with simple exercises on the trampoline.
My potential renter decided she wasn't ready to move away from her family. I understand. I'm hoping my sons friends will move in. I love have young people around. They have a positive prospective of youth.that balances out my cautious nature. We shall see. Each day I put myself in Gods hands. One day at a time.

After this post I decided to go for a walk. It waa about 8 Pm. My Ipod was charged up and ready. It was wonderful to feel energy returning. Afterwards I said a prayer thanking God for my strength and health.

I'm just saying.....

Its been two nights in a row that im getting the all over muscle pain. I have quit taking the magnisium for the past few days due to stomach problems for a couple of weeks. Looks like that was not caused by the magnisium but by the flu. What this says to me is my body needs the magnisium. It unlocks the muscles. I suppose it is like a all over muscle spasm. That may be what the medical community is calling fibromyalgia. I prefer calling it "my body needs extra magnisium syndrome" Not complaining. I'm not doing that anymore. ha yeah. Really, I'm trying not to do that. I'm just keeping a complete record of what I take or don't take compared with problems i'm having. I think this is working.

car

Today I once again felt fine. I got some family history finished on ancestry.com. I decided to tackle the car issue. Its been turning off at idle if I turn the air off. I think this may be intencinal. I have extra carbondioxcide coming from the muffler. I finally took it to a dealership. He tool me to be careful in the garage. It was dangerous. This has been happening since last year. So here I've been having fumes coming in my car. Now I run it with the inside air only pushed on.And the windows up. And the air on. If the car had not turned off at idle with out the air on, I could be really sick. So now I have an estimate for the repair. I have to wait awhile. Its an annoyance.I'm just thankful for tender mercies. Thankful my car would stall without the air on. This may have saved me from an emergency room visit.
I had to return some jeans to the Charity shope. They were too big. How nice was that? Happy that I'm smaller then I thought.Couldn't find jeans but found a darling blazer and cord pants. Very sharp for work.
My son is getting sick. Just like me. Has the sore throat, headache, sleep all day. Now I don't feel so guilty. I don't know why I feel guilty when I'm ill. I think it was because I was ill so much with the hep-c. Being a single mom, I had no one else to take over those days. So glad the kids where strong and healthy themselves. Another tender mercy. There are all around when we look for them.

Another day of feeling a 7 in 1-10 Happy days!

Another good day. Went to Tutor C. He is doing so well in Math. I'm scared I'll lose my job. I mentioned that when his mom looked online to see his new scores. She told me "NO NO We need you." He has gone from a F to a C. His new papers are A's. I'm so happy. I couldn't accept anything less. I've always be like that with my own kids with Math.
They didn't have a problem since I tutored them at the crucial years. I feel that is age 10-13. That is when you must Keep them or you can lose them.

I had a job possibility come my way this morning but I haven't heard back after leaving a message. Tomorrow I'm sending my resume to the schools that asked if I could sub teach. Im feeling more and more confident. I may even gain enough strength to be a full time teacher. That will be wonderful. I love teaching. I remember when I was a little girl. We had a building on our acreage that had a chalk board in it. I had my dolls sitting and watching me teach them what I learned in school. What a strange fantasy to have. Nothing to do with fame. Just teaching my "students" Math.

JL wants me to come to LA and stay with her and J. for a few days. I'd get a tutor session in. I may do it.C. had wed off for Veterns Day. So no homework for me.

I'm very thankful to God for my health coming back. I want to do more to show my thankfulness. "Do unto others you do unto Me" That is what Jesus says. So I'm trying to be a happier, more cheerful, person to others. I bought a big bag of candy post Halloween. Very Cheap. I have been giving out kitkat bars and reeses to drive through workers when I go on a errand. To thank them for working and always being there for me. Its been fun. I always like to see them smile when I pull one out to hand to them.

Angels around us

I woke up late as usual. Got to Church on time for Sacrement meeting. Afterwards the primary (under age 12) stayed in the Chapel for rehearsal for next Sundays Program.
I was called to teach the eight year olds about six weeks ago. When ever I get a calling, its just the right place for me. The leaders pray for guidence and call those they feel promted to call for each position. My Church is all volunteer. No one, not even the leadership is payed. I haven't had a position for a long time. Not since I began treatment for hcv.
Day was so lovely. The songs the children have learned are so beautiful. The words, the melody. As I took in the moment, I knew God lives, and Jesus lives. My relationship with my savior has been personal. Its brought me much simple peace in a world with complications. I have not always had this. So now that I do, its precious to me.
When I came home, I cooked dinner. A pot of chili. I cleaning my nightstand. I cleaned the dishes and counters. The health was back. My nightstand had so much dust. Its an embassesment even it no one sees it but myself. I've been so unwell. I don't like living like this. There is no one to help me, so I have to live like this. The days, like to day, I feel so happy to clean. Simple pleasure. Its a pleasure thoses that are sick for a lengthy time, who begin to have health, understand. Its when you feel alive again. I'm learning to be guarded about the days ahead. If I'm feeling good, they I'm thrilled. If I expect it, I may have great disappointment. These are the times, I would love my Mom here. She would clean for me and take care of me. It is an extra burden of stress when you have a unorganized environment. It stresses me. I'm grateful today was a good day.
I do want to add, I went to my Churches Single Conference last night. It was a dance. I danced. It was wonderful. I think I danced like a crazy woman that doesn't get out much. After six dances I was finished. Saw some friends. I talked to them. So I'm feeling better.

Another day brighter

Wow. Something is working. It must be the prayers. I'm getting a cough. That is what happens when you stop antibiotics before its finished. I don't care. I can handle it now that my fatique is leaving. I took some buffered C. I went out and pickup up the limes from my tree. I made some limeade. Now I know it wasn't in my head. It wasn't depression. We all doubt at times. I am beginning to think it was my thyroid. Now I'm on a strict regiment. I'm going to take everything I"m taking now. Its working. I don't care if I'm not a size four. As I feel better every day, the weight will go off naturally. I hope everyone reading my blog will not give up on good health. Life is beautiful on the good days. We must accept the bad ones. I am sorry I've been such a complainer. It may have been wiser to keep a personal journal instead of a public one. But if it helps someone, it is better this way. I'm sorry to sound as if I'm complaining much of the time. I just need to keep a record of my health. I've finally come to many conclusions. From kitkat (a physian that had hep-c treatment).Interferon hurts many systems in the body. Along with bone lose, muscle wasting, brain shinkage (and seritonin levels way off). If you take care of this with the right supplements and diet, its all reversible. I was hasty, I wanted to just move on with my life. My body didn't allow it.
I also discovered that I still have fibrosis and this will take about five years to reverse. I must still be aware of supplement or meds that hurt my liver. Doctors are not trained in the area of post treatment. I hope my blog can help someone. I finished tx August 2008. Its just been a year and 2 months. It I only knew then what I know now. I would have prepared this. I hope now I can be a help for others.

Its amazing, I'm feeling better

Wow. I don't know what is kicking in. Maybe its the synthyroid I started back up on. Or the co q10 I recently began after rereading kitkats post treatment supplement list. What ever it is, I'm very pleased. My mood is bettr, energy level is up. Although I am feeling somewhat short of breath. I'm lying in bed and short of breathe. That is another interferon related after side. Its reversable with time. All of this is. If someone had said your treatment will really take five years includeing post tx, I would have been more mentally prepared for the long run. Oops, sounds like i'm complaining again. I'm trying to change my attitude. That will change my destiny. Charting a new course.

I got up to get a bit to eat. I didn't want to open other can of chicken soup. I havent had the energy to get food or prepare it. So I finally went out. I was going to Pei Weis to get soup but decided I wanted pizza. I got a five dollar pizza at little caesars. it was so good I ate three pieces.

keeping this blog

I'm glad I'm doing this. Gives me hope. I feel horrible the last few days. I can't get out of bed. I wish someone would bring me food. Looking back, I've had good days. I can read it on my blog. Its evidence. I think my problem may be the after effects of the anti d I tried (stupid me) ...and stopped or the virus / bac.. infection I had..whatever the doctor gave me anti biotics for. Having a low grade fever. Just yuck. I'm trying to be positive but I feel really bad. Everyday I say tomorrow I'll be well. I hope tomorrow I'll be well. Tomorrow is the day. Yes. i will be good tomorrow. It will be a wonderful Sat. I'll get lots done. I will go to the Temple.Tomorrow will be a wonderful day. Can't wait to write tomorrows events on my blog so everyone knows I'm a capable, healthy person.

If anyone thats my friend in the area reads this, please bring me a healthy salad. Thank you. : )

Answers today

My eyes are feeling better. Not so dry. I'm surprised the supplement worked so quickly. It was suppose to take weeks to notice. Very happy. This has gone on since my treatment began. I'm very happy about this. Dry, burning eyes have been so annoying. Thank you omegas.

I saw Suzanne Summers on the news. She talked about natural supplements. I really believe in this. I looked on her web site. She had doctors from all areas linked to it. I found one in Mesa. I called and left a message. On the call back I found out my ins doesn't cover this doctors procedure. The doctor told me that hep-c is a very bad virus and I am certain to still need liver cleansing, even though the virus has cleared. Wow. That makes sence. You know when you hear the truth and you feel a shiver. I know this is the root of my problem. Still the liver. Wow. Its a relief to know what is wrong. Not depression, not fibromyalgia, its liver disease. That is it. Simple.
I can't believe I have to talk to myself bla bla bla..... (although I have a few followers) to discover this. Its been a search for honest answers about my health.

The osteoporosis was a diversion. I fixed it with supplements. My back doesn't hurt nearly as often.Yey! The menopause was a diversion. The natural hormones are working wonders. The minerals I'm taking for osteoporosis are working for my all over pain (fibromyalgia?). So I am crossing off fibromyalgia. I don't have it. Depression? I am not depressed. I'm just fatigue from the liver disease. That causes some mild depression. Brain fog? liver disease. So I cleared the viruse. My liver had scaring and inflamation from the virus. That doesn't automaticly go away after clearing. It takes time. As I've watched my liver blood levels to be normal, I thought my liver was normal.
But no. When you know what is wrong, you can work on that area. I can pray for my liver to get well.
Its a process. Please message me if anyone else has heard about continued liver detox after clearing the virus. Im very interested.

Tonight I had a wonderful session as a tutor. I brought candy (smarties) and change. I taught his Math lesson for tomorrow. He won't have me tomorrow so I have him prepared. It was learning about fractions. The candy and money kept his attention. This parent is prepared with a dry erase board. I love teaching at their home. I feel like I'm playing...(Here you be the student and I'll be the teacher) Fun. I love Math. I love fractions. We are getting into the good stuff. It was wonderful night. His Math scores are up(Thank goodness..Rome wasn't built in a day) and everyone is happy. My self esteem is up along with my student. He is now finally feeling like he is good in Math. Now I'm ready to pray for more students.

I'm back

I'm reminding myself never to take welbutrin again. It was like a bad LSD trip? Maybe? I was revved up, shaking, couldn't focus. I had to resort to sleeping pills to sleep. My secret purpose for taking it was to lose weight. These pills kick up the metabilisum. Also I thought since I'm not working full time then I must have a depression problem. I begin doubting myself all the time.
I didn't do well with the Math problems last week with the boy I tutored. By the weekend, I felt my life was hopeless. I stopped the pills on Sat. Monday I went to the tutor session. Today I found out we got a hundred percent on the homework grade for the math homework yesterday. That was a relief. I can't afford to mess with these brain drugs.

It would have been great to lose thirty pounds. I'll find another way.
I have goals.

One osteoporosis........check.....I am taking supplements that I know are working
two Pain...fibromyalgia? check......I'm watching my stress level and other triggers. Magnesium is working
Three.....brain fog, dry eyes .....I bought some omega threes and V. E tonight.

difficult

I stopped the wellbutrin. Today I felt terrible. As if the world had gone grey. Its just getting my chemistry balenced. The wellbutrin made me shaky, nervous, had to take a sleeping pill every night. I learned a long time ago that meds are not good if it forces you to take more meds for sides. I finally called Joe and asked if I could do some data entry work for him. He is so nice. He always has work for me. I knew I needed to do something. I worked for him but the world still seemed gray. After some errands, I felt better. I went to Sprouts to get some yogert. While there I asked about omega threes and v. E. I knew I needed these