What is wrong with me?

I can't believe I'm so happy to see the doctor. I will be worked in tomorrow with cindy. My sore throat is worse, Cough, and wiped out.The worse part of this. Now that I'm sick, everyone is telling get a job. I didn't stop crying to late yesterday. When I was asked, what is wrong with you. That did it. That was a flash back to hell.Tears came and came. I didn't have the ability to communicate. I've decided that others can't ever think I can be sick again. I've used up my sick leave. If I have to pretend all is good, then I have to pretend.

I'm actually thinking I might have the flu. I want to see what I'm dealing with. Taking another anti d. I really don't think I need one so much. I just want to lose weight.I have two pair of jeans, now one has worn out. I need to get into the smaller sizes. This anti d helps you lose weight and it may help with Adult ADD. I do struggle with that one. Wish I could see my ADD doctor. That is an old luxtury, I can't afford. This pill also causes sides. One is dry mouth. Its happening.Its terrible. Another side I'm concerned about is seizures. I had two bad ones years ago after my husband died.Once in a car accident. I blacked out, hit a car straight on. Didn't know what happened. Another while teaching preschool. Each time I woke in an ambulance not knowing my name or age. It was frightening. I had to take tegretal for a long time. Thats a terrible drug. At that time, I finally found a naturalpathic doctor in Texas that got me off all the drugs. He also got me off my thyroid meds. I have tried to see the same kind of doctor here. Each time I wasted money and was scammed. The day I get some extra money. I'm off to Texas to see him. His name is Dr Vonbergen and he is genius. If you live in Dallas, go to him. If you don't live in Dallas and you can afford to go to Dallas. Go to him. You will not be sorry.

With all these struggles, I God is with me, strengthening me. He is in charge and I need to let him be in charge.
I'm thankful for so many blessings.As I reflect, I have so much. Even the blessing of bad health. I will know the miracle when my health returns.. A couple of weeks ago, I received a Priesthood blessing for health. The next morning I was healthy. It was a miracle. Each day the same....a miracle. This went on for many days. Wake up feeling great, got lots done. I lost it after some time. But now I know what it will feel like when my health returns. Those that have that blessing don't know what they have, until its gone. Having good health is a beautiful thing.